A Soldier’s Wife:
Life Married to a Deployed Soldier
by: Sarah Cushing

It has been four months since Melissa Siani last saw her husband. And, it
will be another fifteen weeks before she sees him again. Melissa’s husband,
Mike, is a Marine serving his second tour of duty in Iraq. Married for a
year and seven months, Melissa has spent ten months separated from her
husband. Like Melissa, family members of deployed service men and
women from all over the country are living their lives oceans and
countries apart from their loved ones. The challenges of being a family
member of a deployed military man or woman are huge. From worrying
about a family member’s safety to not being able to experience special
moments together, like birthdays and holidays, having a family member
deployed is an emotional struggle. And, Melissa knows first-hand what it is
like to be in the midst of that struggle.
For Melissa, who is 22, the journey of being the
wife of a deployed soldier began when she first
heard that Mike was going to join the Marines.
“When Mike first told me he was going into the
service I was really scared. I thought about him
being deployed and that’s what scared me the
most,” Melissa says. Mike was enlisted in the
Marines Corps for one year before he was
deployed to Iraq. Although Melissa was scared
about the possibility of him being deployed, she
said she wasn’t surprised because of the political
Since Mike has been gone, living without her partner hasn’t gotten easier
for her. “Since he’s been gone it's so hard being a spouse,” Melissa says. “I
don’t think spouses get enough credit for what they do. I am completely
on my own. If anything goes wrong, it’s up to me to get it taken care of.”
But she says she has grown stronger and more independent during Mike’s
deployments. “It’s a hard job being a military spouse but I know that him
[Mike] being gone isn’t permanent and I learn to deal with life,” she says.
Also, while Mike is gone, Melissa has been working on accomplishing goals
of her own. “I keep busy by going to school, working during the week,
going to the gym and hanging out with other [soldiers’] wives. The best
thing to do is keep busy,” Melissa says. Also, Melissa and Mike manage to
stay in touch by telephone and internet. “The communication is great over
there. They [the soldiers] have access to a variety of things which helps.”
climate overseas. When Melissa found out for certain that Mike was going
to be deployed for a seven month tour in Iraq, she was at a loss for how to
deal with the situation. “I was so scared but I knew there was nothing I
could do. I was afraid to be on my own and be without him for so long,”
she explains. “I thought of the possibility that he may not come home and
I cried quite a bit. On the other side, I knew it [the Marines] was his job
and it’s what he wanted to do,” she says.
Although Melissa isn’t certain if Mike will be
deployed for a third time, she is ready to
support him however she can. “I know that I
am going to support him whatever he chooses
to do and I will go wherever the Marine Corps
takes us so I can be with him.” Right now she
is just focusing on his impending return in
May and giving him a warm welcome when he
gets home. “The first thing I am going to do
upon his return is the same thing I did last
time, [which is] run up and give him a long
needed hug and kiss."