| All the Single Ladies By: Gesina Phillips Everywhere you look, it seems as if life is bombarding you with pictures of happy couples. After all, marriage has been the typical “happy ending” of stories through the ages. Today, the dating scene is a popular subject in every form of media, from popular novels to television shows and movies. Adults—especially family members—may be fond of asking if you have a significant other and if the answer is no, they may even follow up with a “why not?” All of these factors can sometimes make it very difficult to be an unattached girl in a couples’ world. But if you’re single, you shouldn’t worry. Besides, the term “single” indicates an unnecessarily bleak view of the situation; after all, a person always has their family and friends. A romantic relationship can be a lovely and life-enhancing thing but there is plenty more to life than having a partner—especially when you are a teenager. Although it may seem as if you are doomed to the life of an old maid, the truth of the matter remains that you are young and there is plenty of time for relationships in the future. Instead of constantly wishing for another person, why not enjoy being young and free? As you are no doubt already finding out, a lot of things change during a person’s teenage years. And no, we’re not talking about the physical changes that—while important—every girl at one point or another becomes sick of hearing about. In addition to these more obvious changes, the teenage years are the time that a person begins to make decisions that will impact the rest of her life. Establishing routines, learning new things, cementing friendships, choosing a college, thinking about career paths—all of these are events that take place when one is a teen. When someone gets into a relationship too early, it is often allowed to overshadow these things. However, a single girl can make decisions for herself. She does not have to take into account the concerns of a partner, nor does she have to add yet another variable to her college search in the form of “proximity to the object of my affection.” She is her own boss and can do the best job of protecting her own interests when so many big changes are occurring. “Being single means you can worry about yourself,” says Jessica Noto, a college junior. “It might sound selfish, but it’s actually very important, especially when you’re thinking about going to college. You can do what’s best for you and learn about what kind of person you are in the process, she adds.” “Learning about oneself” may seem like a silly idea from a self-help book, but it is actually an important part of being a teenager. These years are the point at which a person begins asking: “Who am I?” and also, “Who do I want to be?” Although these may seem like the most basic of questions, they are often the most difficult to answer. A single girl is self-reliant and can begin to consider these questions more fully. Instead of defining herself in terms of her romantic attachment to another person, she can learn about herself as an individual. “When you’re single, you do things for yourself. Even though you have a support network, you learn to truly rely on and trust yourself,” says Jessica Noto. Although this seems like very little comfort to someone who wishes to escape the single life, it can pay off in the end. A girl who has come to know and love herself will be able to enter into a healthier relationship with another person. She is less at-risk of becoming overly dependent or needy because she knows she can rely on herself. Therefore, she can choose to be in a relationship rather than “needing” to be in a relationship. This is not to say that a teenage girl who is in a relationship cannot accomplish all of these things; however, it will likely be more difficult. To the girls happily in a relationship: “Please make the effort!” Your self is the person with whom you will spend your entire life, so start investing in her now. Single ladies, you have an advantage. Throw away all of those television and young adult novel stereotypes of teenage romance and seize the opportunity to truly become your own person. |
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