| Roxy's Diary from the Middle East - Part III |
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| “The great thing in this world is not so much where we are but in what direction we are moving.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894) Have you ever wondered what would be your first thoughts when you see a young woman wearing a scarf on her head and a black long dress covering her body completely? Have you ever wondered why there are still arranged marriages in this world? Have you ever wondered why some women are still not allowed to drive? The definition in the Oxford Dictionary of stereotype “is a fixed idea or image that many people have of a particular person or thing, but which is often not true in reality.” How many of us hold onto “fixed ideas” just because we are too familiar with them to the point of unwillingness, based on ignorance, to see beyond them? In my own country, I grew up stereotyping Gypsies. Recently I have watched a social experiment on the Tyra Show that featured people looking behind a mirror window at a few ladies of different cultural backgrounds. They wanted to see what their first thoughts would be of these women of different backgrounds. It was unpleasantly surprising to see that most of them associated the two Muslim ladies wearing scarves with terrorists. How sad is that! After the September 11 attack, I wanted to face my own judgments and misunderstandings that I brought with me from the west about Islam. Some areas of interest which I am going to explore are Women’s Liberties, Family Relations/ Power Ratio, and Dating/Marriage and Divorce by illustrating how tradition differs from Islamic law through the different scenarios I have experienced in my life living here and from what locals have told me. Try to see this exotic world through the lens of cultural differences rather than what’s right or wrong. When it comes to women’s liberties, for example, we may have thought that they are forced to cover themselves and wear black. Correction: They are allowed to wear any clothes of any color, but it is recommended to wear darker colors and looser clothes so that they don’t draw attention to them as a sign of decency. It is a recommendation that has been embodied in social behavior advocating the value of modesty in women. Even though, we, in the west, including myself, may have a completely different opinion of what decency may mean, it is our way and choice of looking at it that way probably influenced by our historical artists placing women’s body forms on a pedestal celebrating its beauty. Is it wrong what we are doing? Is it wrong what they are doing? Let’s not look at it as right or wrong but as different. The idea of decency may differ from one person to another, from culture to culture. There can be so many more arguments that can be drawn from this, but let’s stop there and celebrate our differences. What is your idea of a decent dress code? Can beauty go hand in hand with decency? In Islam, a woman has the right to choose who she wishes to marry even if the marriage is arranged. Nobody can force her not even her father. There are many cases in which different families marry their daughters to men they have never seem nor talked to in their entire lives. This is a practice in traditional families or societies not necessarily encouraged by Islam. In the same order of ideas, a woman should be allowed to play sports as long as she doesn’t expose her body in an indecent way; she can drive a car, and work outside her home if the family needs her that way. Especially important to mention is that tradition, not Islam, has denied women the right to be educated(like in Afghanistan during Taliban’s rule) or even in Oman before 1970. In Saudi Arabia, only recently women have been allowed to get a higher education and get jobs in areas traditionally reserved for men such as doctors and engineers. On the other hand, in more liberal societies, such as the United Arab Emirates and Tunisia, for instance, they have been allowed to do so for some time. I have recently met two Saudi sisters. One of them, soon, is about to become one of the first female graduates from Law School in her country, whereas her sister studies in Canada to become a plastic surgeon. They come from a family that embraces education and choice. They are both very ambitious and extremely intelligent young women who have a lot to offer. I salute them and especially their Saudi father who recognized the importance of education in his daughters’ lives! |
Editor's Note: Roxy Fera currently lives in Oman, and writes a monthly column for AMG
documenting her thoughts and experiences living abroad. Below is Part III of the series.
documenting her thoughts and experiences living abroad. Below is Part III of the series.
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