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| Can You Handle the Pressure? By: Jennifer Heath Can you think about a situation in the past when someone pressured you to do something that conflicted with your personal values? Thinking back on that experience, what belief or value was the person challenging? How could you have responded differently? What have you learned from that situation? We have all heard of "peer pressure" but less often we hear about strategies for dealing with it. Some types of peer pressure can be positive. If you are on a sports team or in an academic club, you may feel encouraged and pushed to try harder or beat your personal best. Usually however, when people talk about peer pressure they are referring to peers' or friends' abilities to negatively influence behavior. The hard part comes in when it is a good friend who is doing the pressuring. You might feel like you "owe" them something or you want to appear more grown up. Peer pressure can happen to anyone. Middle and High school students in particular can sometimes feel the pressure to dress, act and think like their friends. It can be confusing if one of your friends makes a choice that goes against your personal beliefs. I spoke with a Junior at Newton North in Newton, Massachusetts about her experience with peer pressure. "For me and my groups of friends, we don't seem as affected by peer pressure as we once were. When I was a Freshman I would get pressured to talk about other people behind their back. If a friend confided in me, a more popular girl would pressure me to talk about my friends' secrets. I didn't know I was being pressured at the time, but now as I look back on it, I realize I was. I was being manipulated. I think now, however, that it's easier to fight peer pressure if you feel comfortable with yourself." People who are insecure or don't know who they seem to be influenced more. "The pressure I feel now seems less to come from other people and more from myself. I look at other students around me and I feel the pressure to have a perfect body." It can be hard to ignore the pressures around you, but Kevin J. Took, MD from http://kidshealth.org has some strategies for dealing with peer pressure. If you are in a situation where you feel uncomfortable or someone is pressing you to do something you do not want to do, Dr. Took advises to say "no" firmly and walk away. It can also be helpful to find someone to stand up with you(strength in numbers). If you feel uncomfortable about something, chances are that someone else may feel that way too. You could be helping someone else out by standing up for yourself. If you are really having a hard time with a certain individual it may be best to find your school counselor, teacher or parent you trust and fill them in on the situation. What did the Junior from Newton do? "It took a while to make connections and friends, but when I did they stood up with me. It's easier to say no when you know that your friends have your back!" |
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