| It Smells Like Nutcracker: Growing Up a Dancer |
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| by: Eve Solomon As I sat in the library watching men string Christmas lights along College Walk, the strangest sensation came over me. A smell from my past wafted from somewhere in the library of my University over to where I sat, saturating my mind with memory. At first I couldn’t place the smell, and then it hit me: it smelled like Nutcracker! “What does Nutcracker smell like?” you might ask, familiar with the Christmas spectacle but maybe not with its smell. However, after having danced in the Nutcracker for ten years, I’ve found the production itself takes on a particular smell. It’s something like a mix of pristine satin Pointe shoes, sweaty dancers’ bodies, musty costumes, candy canes, hairspray, Christmas trees, and stage makeup. The festive elements of the holiday season combine with the excitement of learning a new part to dance, trying on a new costume, and the rush of a weekend of performances. Dancing in The Nutcracker was always the highlight of my years of ballet, but as I sat in the library reminiscing, many other ballet memories began to resurface: memories of the friendships, the long nights in the dance studio, and the lessons that I learned at ballet and still carry with me today. Growing up a dancer, I dedicated each night to rehearsals and classes. This allowed me to form close friendships with the girls I danced with. |
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| I remember sitting in a circle on the floor before and after class giggling and gossiping. Julia, a dancer from Nevada recalls, “That was the thing I looked forward to the most, seeing my ‘dance friends’ when I arrived at the studio- it was like they were my second family since we hung out so much, and there wasn’t the same drama as with my friends at school.” The bonds |
| that formed in the dance studio were different than those formed from without. Working toward the common goal of a great performance, the girls become a team, and the synchronization they practice at the bar endures even outside of class. Although the Nutcracker brings a flood of warm memories, it also evokes another emotion – stress. I was always worried that I wouldn’t get all of my homework turned in, or that the bright lights on stage would cause me to go numb and miss a step. “I remember an acute sense of stress during Nutcracker Season,” my friend Stephanie confessed to me years after I had graduated from Marin Ballet. “It always came during finals week at school, and the rehearsals were just so long!” Young dancers learn early the necessity of time management and responsibility: how to juggle school and ballet, and do both well. Nicole, from Ohio recalled, “I think dance forced me to grow up and become independent, my mom wasn’t the one telling me when I had to go to class.” Dancers gain an understanding that no matter how lazy or tired we felt after a long day at school, to pick ourselves up and put on tights would be much more beneficial than dozing the afternoon away in a state of nervous guilt. Today, that sense of responsibility stays with me. I have learned to transfer the skills I learned - discipline, a positive attitude, hard work, and passion - into my schoolwork, my relationships, and my daily life. For Nicole, the biggest thing she learned was how “to let myself be criticized and analyzed without being defensive. I learned how to take criticism that seemed kind of mean at first and turn it into something more positive.” She goes on to say, “That really helps so much with my life now. I don’t get defensive or worried about things people say to me. Dance gave me confidence, without it I don’t think I would be nearly as sure as I am of myself on a day to day basis.” Nicole’s experience is not unique: Julia agrees, “Confidence would have to be the biggest thing I learned.” And after performing a role alone on stage at the age of twelve, confidence seems to come naturally. Dance played a formative role in these girls’ lives, and taught them lessons that they will use in their daily lives forever. I already know that when I go to see The Nutcracker this holiday season I will cry. My tears will be expressions of nostalgia, but also of relief. Like Nicole, I am thankful for the lessons I learned over the years in the ballet studio, and for the woman that dance made me today. However, I am relieved that I am not the one on stage, and that I can now enjoy The Nutcracker from a cozy seat in the audience. |