Finding Yourself

By: Kelly Chaisson Warner, Guest Columnist

“Who am I?” What a question, eh? At some point, both girls and full‐
grown women, we all ask ourselves…we all wonder…and, come on,
somewhere deep inside we all feel that we* should* know the answer. And
yet, no concrete response comes to mind…and we cannot help but
wonder, “Why?”

Many of us, girls and woman, attempt to *cover* this self‐perceived lack
of internal understanding via, what can only be described as, “overkill.”
We try so hard to force ourselves, or rather our own *concepts* of
ourselves, on to the world. In short: we delve into an exhausting
masquerade – working as all‐day, every‐day actresses in a “performance
of one.” Desperately, we mask our believed deficiency of self‐
understanding in a glimmering hope that, one of these days, we’ll *get it
right.*

But young girls, older women, and every female in‐between, I am here to
convey a truth that you’ll find in very few books – and in even fewer
magazines‐ so pay careful attention. Ready? Here we go: it is
more than “okay” to be uncertain of whom you really are. Please, pause
for a moment to reflect upon that. It is more than okay to be uncertain of
who you *really* are. Such confusion does not make you “weird;” it does
not make you “crazy;” and it most certainly does not make you a “loser.”
With that said, you wonder, “Well then, just what does it make me?” Do
you want to know… honestly?

Alright. Take a deep breath and prepare yourself for the “no holds barred”
insight of genuine truth: it makes you a normal girl/woman; a gorgeous
female who is continually finding herself in life – just as we all are. There
is absolutely nothing wrong with you. In fact, be proud ‐ as your
uncertainty of self is actually quite *right.* Such a feeling means, quite
simply, that you are open to growth; to new experiences; to insight; to
life. And that, my fellow females, is a great thing indeed.

I challenge you to embrace this wonderful gift – the
opportunity to fully view your everyday existence: the
people with whom you interact; the events you
experience; the knowledge you obtain; the feelings
you feel. I challenge you to live each moment of such,
and to mentally note your thoughts; your
interpretations; your judgments; your wishes; your
fears; your heartaches. For each and every one of
your reactions is akin to preschool building blocks.
While youthful toys once served to provide tactile
lessons in balance/symmetry of the physical, their
metaphor now represents a much grander truth: the
untouchable beauty of our feminine creation – the experience‐block
upon experience‐block ultimately leading to a strong woman’s formation.

So remember, my fellow sisters: you need not answer the question of,
“Who are you?” – As every single day, you live and you experience. Each
and every moment, you become better – you become more. A true
woman cannot possibly answer the “Who am I?” question, for she is far
too busy living and far too involved in being. You are a girl. You are a
woman. You are everything. And that is a truth which puts such a
ridiculous question to utter shame.