Editor's Note: Dear Deborah is a new column running every month in AMG. If you would like to
submit a question to Deborah, email info@athenamagazineforgirls.com with "Dear Deborah" in the
subject line. Not all questions can be answered, however, if your question is chosen, only your first
name and state will be published.

Dear Deborah,

My friend is always asking to borrow my car. At first it was okay, but now
she asks me like every weekend. My parents are starting to get mad too,
because they pay for my gas. I don't know what to do. I don't want her to be
mad at me, but I need my car sometimes too!

Jess, 16, Oklahoma


              Dear Jess:
              Situations like this are never easy. In my view, they are  
              best dealt with directly.  A good friend should appreciate
              your feelings and needs just the same way that you clearly
              appreciate hers.

              Next time your friend asks for the car, I’d simply tell her
              that you are sorry but you won’t be able to lend it out
              anymore (or as often).  If she presses you, there plenty of
              reasons why:  

             (1) your parents are paying for gas (no joke these days!) and
                  are getting angry,
            (2) you need your car,
            (3) there might be some liability to lending out your car (i.e.
                  what if your friend gets into an accident, does your
                  insurance cover the driver etc. etc.).   

If you think you may have trouble telling her, write it down, practice it and
read it to her over the phone. If she does get angry remind yourself (and
her) that it is YOUR car, it was very generous of you to lend out your car in
the first place, and that it was her (not you) that overstepped her bounds
and created this situation.

Hope that helps!  Good luck!  
~ Deborah