| Editor's Note: If you would like to submit a question to Deborah, email info@athenamagazineforgirls.com with "Dear Deborah" in the subject line. Not all questions can be answered, however, if your question is chosen, only your first name, age, and state will be published. Dear Deborah, I don't know what to do about my dad. He just lost his job last week and he's been really depressed. He just mopes around the house and he's been acting all weird. How can I help him? ~ MaryBeth, 13, Kentucky Dear MaryBeth: You and your family are not alone in what you are experiencing, these things happen (unfortunately quite a lot lately). What you see as “weird” is probably your father’s attempt at coping with this situation or even protecting you. He may be experiencing mixed emotions anger, sadness, inadequacy, shame etc. Know that he is likely trying hard to put things together and that life as you once knew it will return once he is able to resume working and things get better (and they will!). What can you do? Exactly what you ARE doing: being an understanding person. Understand that until things get back to normal the budget may be tighter. Understand also that it is not your fault—that for the next little bit your father might be short with you, not as much fun and/or continue to act weird. Try not to take it personally and please don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault. You might try talking with him about the situation and asking how you can contribute—maybe you could help more around the house, give him and extra hug or encouraging high five, or cut down on allowance/spending for a while. Again, don’t be upset if you don’t get the response you are looking for. If things get very serious and you feel you might need professional help, seek out another adult who might be able to get him the support he needs. Good luck! ~ Deborah |
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