Editor's Note: Caitlin Emmons is a freshman at the University of California at Santa
Cruz. This is her monthly blog Caitlin writes about her experiences at college.
Cruz. This is her monthly blog Caitlin writes about her experiences at college.
| Caitlin's College Blog By: Caitlin Emmons Humans are complicated. College students are still trying to figure out how to be grown ups. So what happens when two complicated people get together and try to create a complicated relationship? There are many ways this can unfold. I have already written about the boys and friends in my life, so now it’s time to look at the point where everything intersects: the College Relationship. Dating? Maybe this is just my inner pessimist but I am beginning to think that “dating” is impossible in college. Everyone is broke. I have literally seen two movies in the theater and only eat bagels when I eat out. You might as well live with the people you go to school with. I live next door to my best friend’s ex boyfriend. Can someone spell A-W-K-W-A-R-D? In a normal relationship you don’t have to spend every waking moment with your significant other, in fact most couples who do this end up breaking up rather quickly. But in college you don’t have an excuse, it’s not like your parents want you home for dinner by six. Dinner in the dining hall should not count as a date. Picnics are dates, museum tours are dates, cafeteria food does not qualify. Spend every waking moment together? Let me start this with a story. I live next door to three boys. Within the first week one of them had found a girl. I now live next door to three boys and a girl. I don’t remember when I last saw this boy alone for more than 10 minutes. Can this even be called dating anymore? I call it married. Their relationship is inspirational, if nothing else. They found each other randomly and clicked instantly, how many couples can say that and still be together five months later? Long distance? I hope if you are attempting this one your cell phone plan can accommodate it. When my best friend from home left for college, our cell phone bills skyrocketed and believe me significant others generally require even more time than a best friend from home. In a positive twist I have seen this one work out but it takes a lot of maturity and a lot of work. This demands being able to trust people thoroughly and making sure that you are trustworthy as well. Despite the potential here, I think that meeting new people and being open to new relationships in college is critical to making it fun. Tying yourself down from the beginning can be detrimental to your social development. College is full of new experiences and people to meet. This is not an attempt to dissuade people from dating or being in a relationship. It is just a forewarning, these things only get more and more complicated as we grow up. I'm a firm believer in talking about things in all situations. In most cases if you aren’t comfortable talking about the relationship, you probably shouldn’t be in one to begin with. Prepare yourself to encounter people with different ideas about relationships but figure out what you want before trying to fit into their expectations. |
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